Just got back from my first real personal vacation/retreat in a long time. Spent 8 days in Paris/Munich. Quite fun both in the exploring and the getting away from most things resembling work.

Life is going well. Still living at the T-house with 6 other guys. Enjoying it. Don't really know that I could find a better set of roommates for this time.

Work is going better and better. Still have crazy amounts of shoots coming in...especially on the still photography end. Now hiring two people part time to help with the back end of it. Erica: Currently sorts photos for me into best/ok/bad. We've met and she will also soon be taking on client booking and email responses to questions. Michael: Currently helps make more advanced edits. I also have a number of photographers that assist me on wedding shoots on either a "assistant photographer" or "intern level". Finally...I have a high school student, Candice, who spends time interning with me on shoots and editing a few times a month. Craziness.

Shoots are still going strong...but a little subdued as we go into holidays. I'm booking enough weddings that even when I'm not shooting alot, deposits or other payments for them are keeping the roof over my head...ha.

Just booked tickets for Guatemala 14 days in February. Will be going down with Erica (who I mentioned earlier) to gather photo and video for orphanages down there to promote their activities to gain funding and manpower for further growth.

Excitement.

I'm not where I want to be yet...
I still am slow to get back to people at times. I still overcommit and under-deliver sometimes even though I've learned MOSTLY to stop this. I'm growing though...and it's visible.

Finally...spiritually...I'm still swinging back and forth between passionate faith and cynical agnosticism. Part of me wants so badly to believe...and part of me is still frustrated that God seems to make it so hard. Why should it be a guessing game to hear His voice? Why do we believe that a loving God will send people to hell just because they didn't know about Him? It's great that we believe it's because He chooses to use us as messengers...but what about the people that die not knowing? Is this really fair to them? I could go on...but I struggle with the idea of it being a guessing game to experience God rather than plainness. It just seems like it shouldn't be this hard. There's always 50 excuses why we aren't hearing God plainly and so few that actually say they are. I still have hope in Him somehow though. I'm just not sure alot of the time.
This is part of why you haven't heard of me dating in a while. I've never thought it would be a good idea to start a relationship with someone and then invite them into this "roller coaster of faith" I'm in. I'm pretty happy with tons of good friends and the life adventures I'm on...so perhaps in time :O) I'm really not as worried as I'm sure some think I should be...ha
This is obviously the short and sweet versions in these two paragraphs but you get the idea. My explanations sound like 5th grader talk cause I'm trying to nut-shell it :O)

Anyway...life is good...times are crazy...but I'm having fun in the adventure...and finding stability not in the destination...but the fact that life will be a journey...and we just get to hold on and guide as God/life allows us :O)

...more sleep last night.